Godsquad

When the wife of Arsenal striker Brian Johnson died in childbirth, Johnson was at the top of his game with the world at his feet. Now, 30 years on, penniless, jobless and living on benefits, he manages the worst Sunday football team ever – the hapless Deportivo Wanka Football Club.
And with a new record five-year losing streak, and no sign of a goal in the last 43 matches, they occupy the unenviable position at the bottom of all of Hackney’s ten leagues and if they end up last again, they’ll be removed from the league forever.
It doesn’t help that the line-up of players include; his estranged son David who had trials with Arsenal but never showed up; Deano the goal keeper with a prosthetic hand and a fear of diving; Pingu, a brilliant but narcoleptic dwarf midfielder and a further assortment of violent, stupid and overweight underachievers more interested in the half-time burger van than scoring a goal.
So when Brian’s life catches up with him in the form of a pitch-side heart attack, he’s brought before a football mad Almighty super-keen on meeting every passing ex-pro and coaching a football team to victory for one game (preferably Manchester United).
Realising that he must do something to right his wrongs, Brian exploits God’s obsession with the beautiful game and makes a deal; he’ll put his soul on the line if God will accompany him back to earth and help coach the team to safety and give Brian one last chance to be a proper Dad to David.
God agrees but there is one immutable rule; If Brian succeeds, he’ll pick up where he left off, but if he fails, his soul goes straight to Lucifer and damnation, the universal law and the price of a second chance.
So Brian and God return to Earth and secure the victory extending Brian's life, but on the cusp of returning to Heaven, God learns that Lucifer has not only taken the vacant managerial position of Deportivos bitterest rivals, Salem FC but also talked Brian into signing over his soul.
God, now feeling guilty for having served up Brian on a plate to the Devil, returns to Earth in recompense to help Brian undo his pact with Lucifer. However Lucifer double crosses the Lord into raising the stakes – and God ends up gambling on not just saving Brian’s soul but the souls of the entire world all on the outcome of one football match.
Now all that stands between Brian and redemption is the Devil. And all that stands between the Devil and seven billion souls is God and the hapless footballing skills of one Deportivo Wanka FC.
The final battle between darkness and light has just been dropped at the feet of a Sunday football team.
God help us.